I have a real tendency to let things that don’t go right, or my version of right, to really get under my skin. I mean dig in and leave sores type of get under it. My husband always tells me and has told me for years, “You have to learn how to stop letting the things beyond your control, control you”. Every time he has said it, although correct, it has made me cringe.
Cringe, because I mean really, when you feel so strongly about something how much easier said than done is it to just let it go; to just say your piece and let that be it? It’s darn near impossible for me – most times.
How do you? Like what do you do, to not let things take control?
Well up until now that has been a question I would always ask myself, and I think I have finally figured it out. You do this by in essence not only releasing the thing(s) that are taking control, but some other things that may affect the reason that you feel strongly about them.
What am I talking about? I am going to use this as an example:
Say you are a mom of a teenager, who just won’t do right. You pay for their car, insurance, you take good care of them, make sure they have what they want, and in essence make their happiness a huge part of your happiness. But in turn they go out past curfew, don’t get the grades you know they are capable of and make life decisions that you can see the crash happen before it actually happens, possibly because you have already traveled the road.
Every time they do something that is beyond your control – I mean because as human beings we all have free will and reign to do whatever it is that we want to do – you find yourself bent out of shape and extremely disappointed; sometimes blaming yourself, questioning your approach and abilities in whatever the role may be (for this example a parent).
How do you remove that grip that it has on you?
What I am realizing, and at this very moment actually (it’s like a light is going off), is that you have to remove what has you vested. Do what is required in your role but nothing above, that way when people do things that are beyond your control, you can know that you did all that you could but not feel so slapped in the face when you are disappointed.
Now don’t get it twisted….this is still not easy to do; but it does pose a more realistic approach to release control. I will be testing this out in my own life; I may have to post an update.
It’s funny how one thing or one someone can change how you think about things; how when you have to take care of yourself, to be able to handle things and be there for those things that are bigger than you – your focus realigns.
For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7 GNT)
Funny how things happen!
Who or what is controling you today, that needs to be released?
- Do not drown in the Ocean of Emotions (moments2give.wordpress.com)
- Release Your Control and Control Your Life (holisticwords.wordpress.com)