Tag Archives: Making it work

Jun 7 2012
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Parenting, The Series: When a child is there before you

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When we enter relationships, we all tend to go in nose wide open, and mind at least semi-closed, almost like a kid – without a care in the world.  Not looking at or even thinking objectively at all of the things that the situation presents.  We like him or her, because they are sweet, they smell good, they cook good, they look good, and if you go there – the loving is umm ummm good!

We then fast forward, two years a full fledge relationship, co-habitation and possibly an engagement, child between the two, or some  huge “next step”, and then we open our minds to the issues that were issues before that we neglected to pay any attention to, and all parties involved are annoyed.

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Apr 10 2012
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Releasing Control….

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I have a real tendency to let things that don’t go right, or my version of right, to really get under my skin.  I mean dig in and leave sores type of get under it.  My husband always tells me and has told me for years, “You have to learn how to stop letting the things beyond your control, control you”.  Every time he has said it, although correct, it has made me cringe.

Cringe, because I mean really, when you feel so strongly about something how much easier said than done is it to just let it go; to just say your piece and let that be it?  It’s darn near impossible for me – most times.

How do you? Like what do you do, to not let things take control?  Read more...

Mar 9 2012
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Parenting, the Series: Raising Someone Else’s Child

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As I have mentioned before, I think that parenting is one of the hardest jobs we have to do as adults.  But what about parenting someone else’s child?

There are many situations that occur that call for one to parent a child that they have not birthed.  Whether it is becoming a step parent, raising a family member’s child and even an open adoption, the task at hand is never without bumps in the road.

Ultimately as I have mentioned in other blog posts in this series, the child(ren) has to be the first and only priority.  Selfish motivations, egos and all other things that can negatively impact them has to be set aside.

In a “regular” parenting situation (if such a thing exists) there are the normal battles – communication, discipline, leading by example, instilling values and moral codes and respect.  As if that is not enough, add to that list – identity confusion, uncertain boundaries, and dealing with emotional struggles (loyalty, love, etc.)  Read more...

Mar 2 2012
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Parenting, The Series: Co-Parenting

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Breaking up is hard to do, and that’s as an adult, so imagine what that feels like for a child.  Imagine the feeling like having to choose between the two people that you love most.  Shared custody arrangements, especially if after a bitter separation, can be draining and irritating. It can be hard to get past the history you may have with your ex and rise above any resentment you may be holding on to.

Making mutual decisions, interacting at drop-offs, or even speaking to a person you’d rather forget about can seem like unattainable tasks. Co-parenting isn’t an painless solution, but it is said to be the best way to ensure your child(ren)’s needs are met and they are able to maintain relationships with both parents.  Read more...